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say you say meBe Still and Know. January 03 苦痛及其所盼望的 休息日的午后，约了一个朋友，在公寓楼旁的KFC里靠着窗坐下聊天，直到夕阳斜射在我们的桌前。 她开始玩弄餐巾纸，边和我说她的故事。在她13，4岁的时候，或许是过于孤单缺少玩伴，她想象在她的生活里出现两个男生。除了她没有别人认识他们，她也很喜欢他们，是那种亲情的喜欢。在她的脑海中他们有清晰的形象和个性。她想象着她与他们的交谈，游戏，直到整个故事在某个四月结束。那个四月，这两个弟弟出了车祸死了。她是笑着说出来的，我凝神地注视她的笑，我从没有想到会听过从她的口中说出这样的故事，她应该是个多么理性的人啊。 很长时间以来，她一直以为这是她的幻想。在信主后，她更是一直在告诉自己这是个谎言而已。过去的一年，她开始修一个心理辅导学的课程。老师会告诉他们，堕胎对于女性的影响，包括对女性的配偶，甚至对于他们的已经或者以后出生的孩子的影响。老师鼓励他们问自己的母亲是否有过堕胎史，多么尴尬的问题，可是她还是回去问了。她的母亲告诉她在生下她之后，曾经堕胎一次。她相信了。在这之后，那两个弟弟的故事又浮进她的脑中，她于是开始怀疑，母亲是不是还有一次堕胎经历，她甚至开始怀疑，她的儿时幻想不是幻想。 她又去问她的母亲。母亲这次终于告诉她，其实，堕过两次，都是在生下她之后。她便问，是在几月份。母亲说，四月份。四月份，也是她的儿时故事里两个弟弟出车祸的时间，她便不再问。母亲已经很痛苦。从那时起，她开始相信这十年前想象出来的弟弟就是母亲堕掉的两个孩子。上帝给予他们生命，可是他们的生命在未出母腹前被冰冷地终结。我相信他们是两个男生，她有些湿润着眼睛，目光越过我的头顶，坚定地说，如果他们也生下来了，一个会是22岁也就大学刚毕业，还有一个在读大四。大弟弟有着竖起的头发，很喜欢理工科，和你一样学计算机（她指指我），他总是喜欢跑出去玩，所以我会和小弟弟一起玩比较多。小弟弟有着柔顺的头发，喜欢看书写字，戴着眼镜。 所以呢，我是有两个弟弟的，她重新开始笑起来，注视着我的眼睛，有一天我去了天家会再遇上他们，我更加盼望去天家了。 你呢？你有没有弟兄姐妹呢？当她开始问我的时候，我怔住了。我突然那么真实地意识到，原来我对这个问题并没有确定的答案。 July 28 外婆--外婆的耳环-- February 15 I will be backTrip in Vietnam is nice, but I have started to miss China, Chinese food...and my friends!!!
I am in Ha Noi and will be back to Nan Ning tomorrow afternoon. I will fly back to Shanghai tomorrow night.
Hope to see you guys soon!
 February 12 Eric In VietnamVietnam is a familiar country to me. my first time abroad was going to halong bay in 2005. but this time is different. our trip includes five cities or towns here. We have been to Ho Chi Minh city, Nha Trang and now I am in a small town called ha noi. our next two stops will be Hue and Ha Noi(the capital), then go back to China. I was in Ho Chi Ming city for birthday on Feb 9. To tell the truth, this city supprised me that it's quite modern and fancy. No wonder Vietanmese is pround of this city often. in the same time, the expense at this place can be even more expensive than in shanghai, and as it's not fully developed, you actually don't have many other choices. For This birthday I have some of my "first time" My trip partners treated me lunch and cakes, and sang happy birthday song. very nice of them! The 2nd city we stayed in Vietnam is Nha Trang, which has very nice beach and dive clubs. So we went diving!! four of us went for discovery diving. I have to tell you it's much better than my first diving at hai'nan nearly 10 years ago(maybe it's better there now, not sure). i dived to 6 metres below for 26 minutes. my ears hurt so much that finaly blood came out of my nose. But I am still so happy! The diverse coreals and fish amazed me!! I was feeling like inside a huge ocrean aquarium, but much more real. I talked with a vietnamese dive instructor on boat, he told me his motive to be a professional diver is to watch girls wear Bigini! what a joke!the dive club I chose offers dive courses. I am quite interested though. maybe I will try next time to take a course and get certificate. lol...not to watch Bigini girls but to see coreals and fish, to be within ocean. all right, now I am in Hoi An. If you do a goole search, you will know there are many good chinese tailors here. I wil go and find them today. wait, have I told you what is in Siem Reap? Angkor Wat!!!
February 04 in Siem Reap, Cambodia a short message to all. this morning we arrived in Siem Reap, Cambodia. it has a pretty nice weather here. sunshine!! but not hot at all. this place makes me feel like a small viliage in china. what's the difference? we will see...we will keep on exploring this afternoon, to the Angkor. we have decided to stay here at least 2 nights. we will see if this place deserves a 3 days' exploring. so far the trip is very nice. i love to talk with local people and have local food(although sometimes it turns out bad feedback). knowing about local culture and experiencing the difference in every way is very exciting in south east asia. besides, people are very friendly here, especially those in Thailand and Cambodia. i keep journal in my Palm everyday..so i guess when i am back, i will post more about my trip. i read that the traffic situation is china is getting better...yeah. happy for that. February 02 the fourth day in my tripit's raining hard outside now. in my trip it has been the longest rain i ever met. normally here the rain comes quickly and goes quickly. but now the rain has last for nearly 4 hours. so some of the guys i met canceled their trip to twin-towers here. i am in Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia. believe it or not, it is the 4th city i have stayed in the past 4 days of my trip. bangkok->singapore->melaka->Kuala Lumpur...tomorrow we will take a rest, stay in Kuala Lumpur and goes to church in the morning. on our way to the restaurant tonight, we saw a presbyterian church on the other side of the road. and there will be chinese and english services in that church. tomorrow is sunday, so we decide we should go there. our plan is to fly to cambodia at early morning (around 5am) the day after tomorrow. it's quite chanllenging if we dont' rest well tomorrow. ;P even in the trip, we talked a lot about the snow in china and how much it blocks people from getting back home. we are kind of lucky getting out of that bad weather earlier. i heard someone bicycled back home after 4(?) days from beijing to he'nan. that's sooo bad to know that the traffic block is still on. i hope everyone is okay with their way back home. thanks for everyone's input, i am not able to read and type chinese in the guest house computer though. but i will read again when i go back to shanghai after chunjie. hope i can write more about my trip in all the three countries i have been to. there is certainly a lot to say about. get to go and sleep. bye. January 30 I am in Bangkok nowWaiting for the airline from Shanghai to Shenzhen is suffering, but I am so thankful that it did come! After going to Shenzhen, I transfered my flight to Bangkok, Thailand.
so now i have already started with my CRAZY south east asia trip - going to 5 countries in around 18 days.
i will not be in China in CHUNJIE and on my coming birthday I will be in Vietnam.
my trip partners have not come yet, so today I went alone to the Grand Palace(which is very boring!) and now i am going to take the boat to have a river view. It's one hour late in Bangkok than in Shanghai btw.
I will see if I can post more in my trip.
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